Our Window to the World

(When Elizabeth first shared the following conversation she had with her husband, John, a dear, beloved friend and client, I encouraged her to share the conversation in writing. I hope its message is inspiring and instructive. RBW)

Early on in our marriage, I would ask John what he was thinking. I realized this annoyed him (actually he told me it did), so I was determined to stop. However, I occasionally failed in my resolve, and would ask him the same question, “What are you thinking?” Sometimes he would tell me. It was always interesting to hear about his thoughts and to share them with him. I suppose that was one of the reasons why I kept asking him what he was thinking even though I knew his reaction just might be one of irritation.

A few days before John’s death (he died on December 29, 2006), he seemed to be in deep thought, which really was not unusual during this time. With a heavy heart and out of deep love and concern, I once again asked him that irritating question, only this time I asked it with so much love and compassion that he looked at me for a few moments before he answered. He said, “I’ve been thinking about who to ask to promote my book and I think I’ll ask Phil” (our son). I told him that since Phil was so busy I would promote his book for him if he would like. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me, slightly smiling, and then nodded his head. I smiled at him and said, “Don’t worry anymore. I’ll do all I can to promote it.” He seemed to relax — the concerned expression gone. Another important decision was settled. I was so glad that that I had asked him one more time, “What are you thinking?”

I miss Jim. He died in February, just before his birthday, and not a day goes by that I’m not reminded of something he said, did, believed in, or felt passionate about. Jim was a renegade priest. I didn’t make that up, that’s what he called himself, and what he titled his book, Souvenirs: From the Life of a Renegade Priest.

His definition of renegade: 1. An individual who rejects conventional behavior. 2. Unconventional.

That describes so eloquently who he was to everyone who knew him and loved him.

During the publishing process of his book, my husband said he could tell when I was working on Jim’s book, because I’d either be laughing so hard I threatened to fall out of my chair, or I’d be reaching for tissues. Jim had that effect on people.

He has a beautiful wife, Nancylee, whom I dearly love, and two sons that he was very proud of. But, as much as he loved his family, he loved Jesus more. The commands, “Do Justice,” and “Love Mercy,” summed up, for Jim, the essence of Jesus’ value system, and fueled his passion for what he was about for most of his life. If someone asked (it happens more often than you can believe in the Bible belt) Jim if he was a Christian, he would say, “No. I’m a follower of Jesus.” Unconventional.

He also was the best pray-er of anyone I’d ever known. The first time I heard him pray, I went up to him later and asked if he would be willing to share some of his prayers with me. Several years later, I got my wish when he e-mailed me seven pages containing some of his favorite prayers. We were to pick out a few for his book, but I held on to the e-mail, and pulled it out today to mail to Nancylee to share with her sons. It gave me the idea to share them with you, too.
The following are a few of my favorites from his list. I’ll share more later.

I love you Jim.

“Almighty God, who hast created us in thine own image: Grant us grace fearlessly to contend against evil and to make no peace with oppression; and, that we may reverently use our freedom, help us to employ it in the maintenance of justice in our communities and among the nations, to the glory of thy holy Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.” From the Book of Common Pray, #21, Prayer for Social Justice. (This was his favorite prayer.)
“Dear God, May what we like about each other overcome what we don’t like, lest we miss your beautiful face in their eyes. May we see each other the way you see us. Amen.”

“O Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; and where we are right, make us easier to live with.” He didn’t know who first said this, but he really liked it.

“Come, divine spirit, we pray; rattle our cages, break into our locked houses, water our parched lands, undo our bends and twistedness, awaken our hearts, help us to overflow with kindness, and give us unending joy. Amen.” Another unknown author

It is with great sadness that I write about the loss of John W. Merritt on December 29, 2006. But it is with great and abiding joy that I remember part of a very small portion of his life and the many gifts he shared with everyone he knew, including me.

I was going to write about his book and his life’s work, but you can get information about his book on this web site. I want to talk about what he represented to me: love, commitment, loyalty, honor, zest for living, patience, and grace.

He deeply loved his wife, his children, and his grandchildren (he told me many very funny stories about his grandchildren’s precociousness, which was a great source of delight to him).

He was committed to the battle against the evil, deceit and manipulation he witnessed within his own church. He didn’t abandon the faith, as many had, but he was courageous enough to tell the truth, and to offer solutions to help heal the wounds that split his beloved Baptist family. The integrity and patience this kind of commitment takes is legion.

He honored all that he loved by truly living the message he taught. His zest for life and the humor in humanity was deeply contagious. No matter what we talked about, he made me laugh, out loud and robustly, every single time we spoke.

He loved and cherished his many, many friends, from all over the world, whose lives have been blessed by knowing him. He had that rare gift of being able to make the person in his company feel cared for, accepted, and appreciated. He was always quick to ask how my family and I were doing, and with genuine interest; he really cared about us.

I feel so fortunate to have known him, to have worked with him. I had the honor of publishing the revised and expanded edition of John’s greatest written legacy, The Betrayal: the hostile takeover of the Southern Baptist Convention and a missionary’s fight for Freedom in Christ.

He also was wise, gentle, had a quiet grace and confidence about him, cried as easily as he laughed, was not afraid to show his tender heart and vulnerability, which never contradicted his great strength of mind, body, and spirit. And he loved God more than anything else on earth.

Even though he suffered off and on for years with a form of blood cancer, he was always upbeat and gracious. He prayed every day with confidence that God would heal him because he had so much to do before he was called home. But I guess God had different plans. I don’t blame him. I would have wanted John to come home, too.

We will miss you John, but we will always remember you and your extraordinary life with happy and grateful hearts.

Love from Robbin, Jane, Rick, Cory, and Tom

Well, here we go. My first blog feels like I have dressed for the beach and then find myself at a dinner party. My web master set this up for me over a month ago, but it has taken me this long to write. Why has it taken me this long, and why have I done it now? And Why blog anyway? My first blog will offer answers to these questions.

Why has it taken me this long? I’ll cut to the painful truth: Because I want everything to be perfect, and this is raw, messy, and imperfect. The nature of this is to write from the heart and release it before the head steps in and makes a neater mess of things. If I don’t deconstruct after pushing the “publish” button, I may even suggest that blogging is very therapeutic for those of us who are afraid of making mistakes or looking silly. I guess you’ll know what happened based on whether or not another entry follow this one.

Why have I done it now? I have to thank Tony Robbins for this one. I attended one of his seminars in Atlanta last month and it was an explosive growth experience for me. Now, remember that I like to be perfect, and explosive is very, very messy. And oh so good for me, too. Eventually. I will write about more discoveries and insights I gained from the seminar, but I want to share something he talked about that has made an immediate impact in my life, and is the catalyst that caused this blog to happen. He talked about 2 millimeters. He told of a world-famous plastic surgeon who said that the only difference between the most beautiful face in the world (women’s) and the butt-ugliest, is 2 mm in 12 places on the face. That’s all. And, when he surgically corrects a face, he never makes more than a 2mm correction in any of these areas. He also gave examples of golfers making small corrections in their stance, hand positions, and it made a huge difference in the span of a drive. Guess how big the corrections were? Yep, 2 mm. He went on to apply that to achievement, and said that the difference between truly great and outstanding was….2 mm.

When I came home, I took a serious look at my life and wondered where I could make 2mm changes, take 2 mm actions, just that small, and wondered how big a change in the quality of my life it would make over the distance of time.

I also am a serious student of David Allen and his Getting Things Done philosophy of the art of stress-free productivity. His methods and wisdom have been hugely impactful to my life. And guess what? He has a two minute rule: If something will take two minutes or less, do it now. It will take longer to put it on a list than to simply get it done. See anything wonderfully similar? 2mm, 2 min. I think this must be a law of physics somewhere.

So, armed with David Allen’s 2 minutes, and Tony Robbin’s 2 mm approaches, I have enjoyed a vast freedom and tremendous sense of accomplishment with these 2 little nuggest of pure gold. As David Allen says, you can’t be comfortable with what you doing unless you are comfortable with what you are not doing. This blog is taking a bit longer than two minutes, but it was the 2millimeters that got me to this page, and so much more.

Finally, Why blog anyway? Twelve years ago, when I was creating imprints for my publishing company, I wanted two divisions: a straight-forward publishing imprint, and a more heart-felt, emotion-based imprint. I created Our Window to the World to hold my deepest dreams for programs, books, retreats, and web sites where people could come together and share their experiences and vision for what they could contribute to make the world they lived in a more integrated, vibrant and loving one.

A teacher of mine once had several of us sit around in a semi-circle and look at the same napkin folded into a triangle. He went around the circle and asked each of us to describe exactly what we saw from where we were sitting. After the last person, his message became clear. To see anything as it truly is, it takes all of us sharing what we see from where we are, and listen, respect, and honor the perspective of others who are looking at the same thing. That we can only know something more fully to the extent that we share and integrate our different perspectives into a more unified whole. And, just because we can see very clearly and accurately from our vantage point, we are only seeing a small portion of the whole. I am hungry for a fuller, richer, and more truthful view, which only comes from sharing the experiences and perspectives of others.
This blogging is first an opportunity for me to share my window to the world with you, and an invitation for you to share your window to the world with me and possibly others. Only when the “I” and “you” come together do we have “Our.”