(When Elizabeth first shared the following conversation she had with her husband, John, a dear, beloved friend and client, I encouraged her to share the conversation in writing. I hope its message is inspiring and instructive. RBW)
Early on in our marriage, I would ask John what he was thinking. I realized this annoyed him (actually he told me it did), so I was determined to stop. However, I occasionally failed in my resolve, and would ask him the same question, “What are you thinking?” Sometimes he would tell me. It was always interesting to hear about his thoughts and to share them with him. I suppose that was one of the reasons why I kept asking him what he was thinking even though I knew his reaction just might be one of irritation.
A few days before John’s death (he died on December 29, 2006), he seemed to be in deep thought, which really was not unusual during this time. With a heavy heart and out of deep love and concern, I once again asked him that irritating question, only this time I asked it with so much love and compassion that he looked at me for a few moments before he answered. He said, “I’ve been thinking about who to ask to promote my book and I think I’ll ask Phil” (our son). I told him that since Phil was so busy I would promote his book for him if he would like. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me, slightly smiling, and then nodded his head. I smiled at him and said, “Don’t worry anymore. I’ll do all I can to promote it.” He seemed to relax — the concerned expression gone. Another important decision was settled. I was so glad that that I had asked him one more time, “What are you thinking?”
